Day 69 - Just Go Slow
As some of you might know, I have recently spent a few days in the hospital. God used this time to teach me a lesson that for years he has been trying to drive into my heart.
I love to get things done. People are always commenting on the go getter attitude I have had since I was a kid. As nice as it sounds, it can get annoying. It is overwhelming for the poor victim that has decided to align themselves with me and also to myself. Imagine…I annoy myself.
When I was in the hospital the doctor said, “After your operation the best thing you can do is walk. The sooner you get moving the better your recovery will be.” I took this as my personal target. I repeated it to myself all day, everyday leading up to my operation.
Sadly, my operation was much more complicated then anticipated and when I got out of the operation, I felt terrible. I could hardly walk, I could only take short shallow breaths, my incisions were much bigger than anticipated. I was not doing well. I was scared.
It goes with out saying, that the idea of getting up and moving around seemed like a monumental task, but I told myself, you said you were going to do it, so do it.
I got up. The first time up I only walked around the nurse’s station 3 times. I was exhausted. For someone that is extremely motivated and energetic, this broke my heart. I remember going back to my bed and asking God if I would ever be the same. He answered clearly “Just go slow”. This is where my lesson started. Every day after that I got a little better, felt a little stronger but every day I was confronted with limitations I had not had before. Luckily, God sent countless angles to remind me that all I needed was to just go slow.
An angel in the form of the lunch lady who caught me trying to pick up my hospital room in anticipation of a visit from my mom. An angel in the form of a friend calling me just to make sure I was resting. Angles in the form of parents who took amazing care of my children insisting that I take time to relax. Angles in the form of students who assured me they would be there when I recovered, and that the most important thing was to focus on my healing. Angles in the form of get-well card form across the country reminding me that I was cared and loved. Angles came from all places and took all forms, screaming the same message JUST GO SLOW. This is a lesson that I needed to learn.
Life can get so exhausting. It can be a whirlwind of obligations all focused on expectations. But His thoughts are not my thoughts. His ways are not my ways. And His expectations are not my expectations.
All God wanted from me was for me to JUST GO SLOW