Dec 2nd 🌿 Ministry Update – Rich, Fed, and Learning Joy

I met a seasoned pastor a few weeks ago. It was a strange encounter, almost unsettling. It felt like he had known me my whole life. Most people have no idea how complex I am, but he saw right through my outer layers.

Take note, I didn’t use “complicated” or “multifaceted.”

My complexity isn’t negative, but it isn’t entirely positive either.

It needs to be harnessed, monitored, and sometimes redirected.

My inner world can feel like a puzzle, bringing a sense of challenge and excitement, but also mental fatigue. Other times it feels like a maze, provoking confusion and self-doubt but also sparking a satisfying kind of curiosity.

And somehow this pastor saw all of it.

He knew exactly where I was and who I am.

Honestly, it was a little creepy.

In the four hours we spoke, he taught me more than some people have in years. At one point, he told me what felt like a mythical tale — something he called the Divine Economy. In this “economy,” obedience is the currency, faith is the food, and joy is the way of life.

Then he looked at me, almost through me, and said,

“You are rich and well fed… but you lack joy.”

Meaning, I was obedient. I had faith. I was spiritually disciplined.

But joy?

Not so much.

And I instantly agreed.

It wasn’t enough to follow Him, let Him lead, believe always, relate to the Spirit, live love as if it were a law, filter everything through grace, and strive to transform myself and others.

Apparently, I also had to enjoy it?!

What a ridiculous requirement.

My whole life I’ve done hard things — not because they felt good, but because they were required. So now, to truly fulfill God’s will, I have to keep doing hard things and somehow find room for joy within them?

But he was right.

And that truth changed my walk with God.

Since that day, I’ve made a sincere effort to bring joy into my everyday life. I fail every single day, but for once, it feels like an uphill battle I can finally embrace.