June 4, 2025 – Cheeseburger, No Burger Please

My family has been vegetarian for a while now, but sometimes… you just want to go through the drive-thru at McDonald’s.

We pulled off the main drag into the new McD’s in Tela, Atlántida. We knew we wanted McFlurries—but what else? Aren’t you supposed to eat lunch before dessert? Does a McDonald’s kid’s meal even count as a real meal?

We decided to go for it all: three kids’ meals with all the bells and whistles. And yes, we still wanted those McFlurries.

It was all a bit much for the poor young man on the other end of the drive-thru speaker. But it wasn’t until I requested all three cheeseburgers without the burger that he decided to hand the headset to someone else.

After a second attempt, they kindly asked me to pull up to the next window. The screen was blank—definitely a sign of confusion.

We pulled up, hoping to pay and collect our loot. Not yet.

First, we had to discuss the fact that most cheeseburgers are purchased with the expectation of… meat. We both had to acknowledge that my life choices were a little odd. We went over the prices, confirmed there was no discount for skipping the meat, chose orange sodas, and clarified the McFlurry order—Oreo, obviously, not M&M. I had to return the wrong one.

Finally, we were ready to go.

As we looked back, the young man’s eyes were full of pity—as if we had just made the biggest mistake of our lives. All three of us cackled.

There’s a reason I avoid fast food restaurants.

P.S. They forgot the ketchup.