When I lived in Orlando, I enrolled my children in a charter school. It was the highest rated charter school in the area. I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to enroll my baby boys into their program. Their infrastructure was pristine. Clean, new, and well maintained. They also had the most incredible maintenance manager.
Technology galore! Each kid had an iPad or tablet. These devices really elevated the academic experience. The staff at the school was professional and well trained. The school invested in their employees through training, incentives and bonuses. School lunch…free! Transportation…free!
Even with all that something was off. My youngest struggled with his self-esteem. He withdrew and became shy. Not the nice kind of shyness everyone looks at endearingly and admires, but instead angry shy. He became defensive and quiet. He was marked for retention. The idea that my baby would repeat 1st grade was infuriating. It was even more irritating when I found out that this was simply an empty threat. He was not going to be retained, but now, at 7 he thought he was. In 2nd grade, he was placed in a class with remedial students. He did better there. The controlled expectations gave him the breathing room he needed.
Meanwhile, my other son was doing great academically. He scored above grade level in all subjects, but he just wanted to have fun. He was placed in a class full of girls. Nothing against girls but David’s energy is toxic when not utilized. With no recess and no time for fun, David’s only hope was to get home without exploding. The pent-up energy made it hard for him to make friends. He had people he talked to, but eventually he would end up messing up every relationship with over complicated feelings and thoughts. The rejection was hard on him. He started to have some dark thoughts. Thoughts a 3rd grader should not be having. The school did their best to help my son and I through the process but why was it happening to begin with?
I felt like some uncontrollable power was taking control of my children and like marionets controlled by an invisible force they were walking closer and closer to the edge of a dangerous cliff. It was one of the most unnerving experiences I had ever had.
No one is to blame. There was no way to stop it. I had to get out of there.
I moved to Honduras last year in May. I enrolled my kids in homeschooling. I decided to swim upstream. I was going to do it my way. Nothing to lose.
They have been homeschoolers now for 6 months. The results have been remarkable. Frederick has moved from a 2nd grade reading level to 4th. His anger has faded and now I get to enjoy his project creating daily. He has developed a love for cooking. His self-esteem has skyrocketed, and he takes special care of his curls. He comes up with new ideas daily. They drive me crazy because they most often involve me, but it is worth every second to see how his brain works.
David has tons of friends. He has become athletic, playing all sports and spending most of his time in the sun. He swims and rides bikes. Fred lifts weights and boxes. We go on adventures together and spend a lot of time at the beach.
When I serve at my local school, they come with me and serve as support. In the beginning the support was more of a struggle than a win, but now I would be lost without them.
They wash their own clothes and put them away. Dishes, they do them. They are generous and share often. They spend their allowance at the local store buying popsicles to get away from the heat.
They love their devices, and they still do I-Ready but they are more then willing to leave them to the side to jump on the trampoline. They laugh daily, talk to me constantly and spend free time together.
I am telling you my testimony because maybe you are struggling with something similar. You feel stuck in the wrong place. You feel God’s urge for you to be somewhere else and do something different. The limitations challenge your faith. You struggle to find the courage to make a change, but you know that you can’t stay where you are at forever.
When God wants you to move, don’t resist. The path you are on is not bad or wrong, it is just not yours. Just like a shoe, when it doesn’t fit; there is nothing left to do but change directions.
I pray to God that I always have the faith in Him to make the leaps. I pray I have the courage to press buttons. I pray my children learn to live free. I pray that my testimony can serve to encourage one person to make that choice. Take that dive. God is calling.
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