I love to listen to Ted Talks. They are not all motivational, informative or even good. There is something about taking time to listen to someone else’s idea that humbles and stills the spirit. Taking the time from your day and giving it freely to a stranger is not an easy choice. Once in a while, a random Ted Talk on an arbitrary day can fill up your cup in unexpected ways.
This particular Ted Talk was about trauma. Trauma healing has become a viral concept. I guess that tells you a lot about the state of the world. Too much trauma in the world causes toxicity to leak out through negative behaviors that we witness in ourselves and in others daily. We have all seen the course of morality change. Much of this change is attributed to the immense amount of trauma suffered.
The speaker proposes an innovative way of looking at trauma. He goes into a long scientific explanation about how trauma changes you physically down to your DNA. He confidently confirms that after trauma you are changed. You cannot change back. You can not heal.
Looking at it through this lens, he proposes that instead of focusing of trying to cope with or heal, we should get to know this new person that now exists after the suffering. The person before the damage no longer lives and this person we now are, is a stranger to us.
Learning to love this new person. Getting to know how their brain works. Being kind to them. Supporting them through this transitional period becomes easier to understand.
A woman after suffering in a toxic marriage and emotional abuse, leaves her marriage. Instead of trying to heal, she would focus on getting to know and love her new self. She does not see her jump-scare reflex as a sign of a weakness but instead a part of herself. She will now avoid large crowds and scary movies. This is just who she is. Born a new.
A young man who has never done anything “right”, is traumatized by the aggressive criticism he has endured. He lives in a state of low self esteem and asks the universe why he is this way. He instead chooses to accept himself and sets healthy limits, not allowing others to control his self-worth. This is just who he is. Born a new.
A young boy, since the womb, has endured complications way outside his age group. He now has a grasp of concepts outside most children’s understanding. He is now a deep thinker. His deep thoughts are hard to manage. The road can get dark and gloomy. Some might think that his complex thought patterns are a flaw. He knows this is just who he is. Born a new.
Psalm 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
I sing in prayer to you God almighty. You have broken me beautifully and made me new. My hope is in you. The trauma has purpose, and I welcome it into my life as it deepens my understanding of your world and strengthens my connection to you. I rest in you, Father. I trust you with everything I am.
Amen.
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