I wanted to write a quick thank you to the mission team that came down from Washington state to serve as a children’s ministry at the missionary retreat I just got back from.
I tried to thank them in person, but I kept getting emotional, which was awkward, so I just let it go. I thought to myself, in the privacy of my office, I will write something.
They say the healthier and happier your kids are the weirder they are. I don’t know if that is true but mine are weird! I have said some incredibly unusual imperative statements in the time I have been a mother. Put the blender down. Stop eating it from the can. Don’t go in there together. Also, some more typical ones. Go slower. Get off that. Don’t do that. Let him go. Be quiet. Try harder. My kids listen but they are growing boys who love to push boundaries.
This weekend during the retreat we had the honor of leaving our children with a children’s ministry so we could be completely focused on our own formation. For a group of people used to pouring into others, we needed to be filled up. This children’s ministry allowed that.
I have two boys. Frederick and David – aka Ale. Frederick has anger issues. He has had a short fuse since he was a baby. People are always hard on him because he is huge for his age. Many people think he is older than he is and automatically expect more out of him. He is also a slow learner. Nothing extreme, just slower than average. He always understands, but it just takes a bit.
When people’s inflated expectations of Frederick collide with his unexpected results, adults in his life categorize him as someone who does not try. If you know Frederick, you know he always tries. So, since he was little, his tireless effort being met with disappointment has created anger issues.
When he gets angry, he gets quiet. It is hard for him to articulate his feelings, so his emotions just swell. At home, when we see this happening, we redirect as soon as possible to avoid the turmoil. In a school environment, Fred has to try his best.
I knew that the children’s bible school would be a stretch for Fred. I spoke to the incredible staff, and they totally understood. Most adults tell you they understand but their actions speak differently. Fred’s first session went ok. He did not participate and stayed quiet. His second session went better, but then his third ended in tears. The staff gave him the space he needed and when I arrived, he was still pouting.
The night after that third day, Fred and I sat down to talk. He was telling me his teachers’ names. He was telling me jokes they told him and magic tricks they had taught him. They went out of their way to fix a spinner he created and wanted to keep. At home, in a safe space, he had a lot to say. To my surprise, all good things!
I want to thank this organization for being a safe place for my son. He has had a rough time in school environments. The opportunity for him to be able to connect and feel understood by adults outside of myself was priceless. He felt valued and cared for. He felt validated and listened to. He enjoyed one on one time and playing in teams. His self-esteem jumped up a little bit. He wants to return next year and is praying that the same teachers are there.
What I am most grateful for is how the staff showed the kids God’s love and grace in every moment. Never once did that waiver. They were faithful to their mission through messes and screaming, cries and complaints. God was well represented by this team.
When we arrived home, during our nightly prayer time, Frederick thanked God for his friends and teachers. He really hopes they visit soon.
Thank you.
Comments