As you know, I have been exploring new churches lately. The latest church I went to, was a Brazilian church close to Universal studios here in Orlando, Florida. An amazing place to be.
I am a crazed lunatic, when it comes to getting things done. My energy doesn’t run on 110 or 220. I think 440 still might be a little underestimated. I always have a new idea, something to try or someone to see. I love this about myself, and I love the way my life has been shaped into something extraordinary because of it, and although many people tell me to go slower, I feel like God made me to work at this speed.
Despite, feeling comfortable with who I am, I still have moments where I push to hard and my anxiety is heightened. I feel my heart pounding in my throat, and I take short shallow breaths. I have not had many panic attacks in my life, but my existence has definitely had some panic.
I bought myself a fit bit watch to monitor my heart rate throughout the day. My goal is to identify a spike in my heart rate and remove myself immediately from any situation that brings on the mild tachycardia.
My resting heart rate is averaging 68 beats per minute. Whenever I find myself above 90, without exercise, I take that as a sign to leave. Although it is not always an easy decision, it is a healthy one.
At church on Sunday, I was impressed with the energy I found sitting among the congregation. I was excited. I felt a bit stressed because the Portuguese was difficult to understand. I was in a new place, with newfangled people, surrounded by a new culture. I think it would be completely natural to feel anxious. I wanted to check my heartbeat to make sure I was under 90 and to my surprise. My heart rate was 62. 62 beats per minute. What!?! I was more relaxed sitting in that chair, surrounded by music and strangers than I am in REM sleep in my comfortable bed at home.
I felt God speak to my soul. Repeating a message that He had to teach me many times before. Staying close to Him, connected to Him, with Him, cures anything and everything. I felt emotional thinking about how much of my inexhaustible, uncontrollable energy is wasted on things of this world. Short-lived experiences, momentary pleasures, and temporary relationships.
I am going to add a second layer to my heartbeat study. Any time I am above 90 beats per minute, instead of withdrawing to a place of comfort and recovery, I am going to center myself in Him.
I will let you know how it goes.
